This week has flown by. It may be because of the holiday weekend, but looking back I can't seem to remember the events too clearly. Every moment is somewhat hazy and blurred. I'd like to blame it on something other than a full schedule, but unfortunately that's all it was. This week brought a lot of growth and I'm thankful to be at the point of looking back. I feel like I learned two crucial lessons this week...
#1 - I'm stronger than I think I am. Since my Mom left in June, I've realized just how dependent on her I was. I've had to step up my game. I cried endlessly before she left, fearful that I would fail. Sure that if she wasn't here to hold my hand; that I would fall hard. Only since she has been gone, I've found that not only can I do this but this isn't all I can do. The growth has come with it's pains and my spirit is sometimes weak, but looking at all I was able to accomplish this week has made me see the growth I've accomplished in this short time.
#2 - I'd rather deal with these issues than yours. I've been so consumed by the responsibilities and stresses that I carry. I get angry when I think of all that I have, sure that if we compared my list of duties to someone else's list you would find that mine is more difficult to carry. This week, I got the chance to see some of the burdens that others carry and I couldn't help but think that I'm thankful for mine. As are they happy to bear their burdens over having to live with mine.
Beyond that I was able to recognize the glaring fact that I CHOSE THIS PATH. No one forced this life on me. No tragic accident or unforeseen illness/injury happened to me. This is my life. I have chosen to go to school full time while I maintain a full time job and be a single parent. No one forced these things on me. So bloody hell Ela...stop complaining!!!
Aaaahhh....growing pains. It's a beautiful thing.