Saturday, May 1, 2010

Hmmm...


I wasn't quite sure what to call this post.  I guess for now, hmmm..., is gonna have to do.  So this is one of those posts where I go on and on about some troubling issue in my life.  So feel free to skip on to the rest of my blog, I don't normally leave posts like this.  I try to stay positive considering just how much negativity is already out there.

This week however was a hard week to stay positive.  Do you ever find yourself on the verge of falling through thin ice?  You are gliding along, every muscle in your body is tight, you are holding your breath and your every thought is focused on staying balanced, upright and moving.  Because if you fall, you may break the ice below you and if you fall through, there is no guarentee you'll find yourself safe on solid ground?  UGH, I know!  Deep! 

I just felt like this was one of those weeks!  I felt like there were so many things that demanded my attention and there was no way I could give 100% to any one of them.  Which made me feel horrible!  Take work for example: I was raised by two very, hard working parents.  They taught me to do my best in the workplace, to not be a burdeon to my employer, to treat each person with respect and to leave work knowing that you did the best job you could do.  I didn't feel like I did that this week and this was the week I needed to give 110%!  I kept thinking about my finals and how I wasn't giving enough attention to my studies.  I thought about the little mister and how I wasn't giving him all the things he needed.  Then the guilt of not doing enough for him set in. 

My mind and stress level about did me in.  Then Thursday night, I showed up to my Business Comm class.  I was nervous because I knew we were getting our formal reports back and I felt like I should have spent more time on it.  I should have turned in the masterpiece I had imagined in my head.  My teacher handed me my paper and said, "It's the first time I've given one of these, read the back."  I turned it over to see a 100%.  It was all I could do to not cry.  I had done something right that week.  Small compared to all the things I had going on, but a slight victory none the less.  I finished my final and came home rejuvenated and I felt a small weight lift from my shoulders. 

With this week at its end, I can't help but be thankful for the lessons it has taught.  It's true that the mountain of adversity before you will seem like a mole hill once it's behind you.  But I know that the journey of growth continues to move forward and I fear the mountain I soon face. Daniel and I are moving out!  To a place that is all our own.  We have the summer to prepare ourselves to take that leap of faith.  It's exciting to be starting this chapter in our lives, we are going to be our own little family unit.  I can't believe it.  So I end with a letter to this week:

Goodbye week! 
You sucked and I'm glad to see you end!  And...thank you! 
Love,
Ela

*Picture was taken by me.

5 comments:

Scott, Fia, and Tre said...

Keep on keeping on sissy! I'm sorry you had a rough week :( Just know you're loved :) And we had an absolute blast at the lake. Isn't it so funny how Tre still waves his arms up and down when he gets excited? I wonder if he'll still do it when he's 20...lol!

Makenzie said...

This weather isn't a help on anyones moods either!!! Keep you head up and you are a amazing person so even when you feel like you arent giving 100%, you are!

Danny and CaraDee said...

Ela I'm so glad that the week ended with the 100% on the paper! I find the only thing I can do when I'm on that thin ice is get down on my knees and ask my Heavenly Father to help save me from falling. I know some weeks with out him in my life I would fall! I love you and you're such a amazing person and Mom. I love to here that one of my Heros struggles just like I do! Here is to a wonderful next couple of weeks!

Ela and Daniel Asisi said...

Fia - Thanks sissy! And yes, I LOVE that Tre waves his arms around like that, it's my favorite!

Kenzie - Thank you! That means a lot and you're right; this weather has GOT to go!!!

Cara Dee - I absolutely agree, I just need to learn to lean on Him a little more. Thank you!

Kellie said...

Oh Ela I doubt that you didn't give 110% at work. You always do! You are such a hard worker and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. I am glad that the week is over for you (and glad I didn't have to participate in the madness at UV). Good luck with the move, I am sure it will be good for you and Daniel.