Friday, September 18, 2009

Slight Gripe

So I've heard three times today that I'm too nice! That people take advantage of me because I'm too nice. Is there not something seriously wrong with that statement???

Roll with me on this one, if someone is nice to you why would you want to reciprocate the opposite? Kindness and gratitude should not receive rudeness and laziness. Now I have my inner beast, but I've learned over the years that it is better to be sweet than mean. Not only for those around you (family, friends, coworkers) but for yourself. When one is constantly a B*%@H, those feelings of contention reside within and happiness is always a step ahead. Some of the moments in my life when I released that inner meanness are ones that make me cringe. How awful was I? Why would I treat another human being like that? There is a scene in the movie You've Got Mail that explains it best.

Joe Fox: Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty."
Kathleen Kelly: No, I know exactly what you mean, and I'm completely jealous. What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said.
Joe Fox: Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.

So there you have it, I'm nice because I choose to avoid the remorse. I never say what I mean to say the moment I say it because 89% of the time what I want to say is not what I should say. I need a day to think the situation over, ponder what words should be used and then I can confront a person, coworker, etc. If that makes me a target for those who are less enlightened, so be it!
The Scream by Edvard Munch


Mark and Mandi said...

ela...your just great! I think you know where to draw the line!! miss ya

Melanie said...

It's because you're a classic "white". It's inherently you. :O)

Scott, Fia, and Tre said...

You're nice because you're a genuinely nice person :) I love you because of who you are :) I think it runs in the family...Carly wanted to beat me up in middle school because I was "Too Nice" LOL!

Liv said...

I have to agree with and family is way too nice! Yet, I feel like if someone hurt me I know you guys would have my back...thanks for also being so loyal!!!